Thursday, March 18, 2010

Monkey & who?

Take a look at the picture to your left. You just got 10% dumber.

This calendar, whimsically named "Monkey & Me" has one problem. There is not a damn monkey to be seen. The animals on the cover are CHIMPANZEES. Let's list the differences between monkeys and chimps.

Monkeys have tails.
Chimps have human-like ears.
Monkeys throw feces.
Chimps can use tools.

It is really difficult to mix them up. Chimps sometimes EAT monkeys! Come on!

For the longest time, I thought that bears and gorillas were related. Not first cousins or anything, but when you put them on the animal tree, they were close. People like my wife have teased me about this. I had no idea where I got this stupid idea until I was watching an old episode of The Little Rascals. In it, they capture a "bear" in the woods, and the "bear" is being played by a guy in a gorilla suit. They say "bear", I see gorilla, and I'm 1% mentally handicapped for 20 years. This is serious business. Calendars like the one above can cause real mental harm.