Poor impulse control

I just recently bought a new high definition TV (HDTV). TV buying can be daunting and complicated, so I thought I'd go through the things I learned in my hunt.

Only a year ago, I bought a 46" LCD Toshiba TV for $1600 at Visions. One of the main reasons we got it was it had an "upscaler", which allegedly made standard definition (SD) inputs (like from a DVD player) look high definition (HD). It worked okay, but we started watching more movies on our Blu-ray player and HD cable, so it because less and less useful.

It was fine, but the feature that I really coveted was called Smoothing. Sony calls it "Motion Flow" and Samsung calls it "Auto Motion Plus". Before I explain what Smoothing is, I have to explain how TV signals work.

Motion pictures are filmed at a rate of 24 frames per second (fps). Every second, 24 unique frames flash before your eyes. Television is broadcast at 60 fps. Since 60 is not divisible by 24, when movies are shown on TV they have to do something called 3:2 pulldown. What it means is the first frame is shown twice, the second frame is shown three-times, the third frame is shown twice, etc. See below for an example:

[A] [A] [B] [B] [B] [C] [C] [D] [D] [D] ...

3:2 pulldown can result in a flickery and blurry effect which is typically called judder. TV manufacturers have tried to combat this by increasing the frame rate of HDTVs to 120 fps (more commonly called 120 Hz). 120 is dividable by 24, so each movie frame is shown 5 times.

This can only fix the picture so much. Just flashing the same picture 5 times may make it slightly clearer, but it doesn't change the fact that it is the same picture. This is where Smoothing comes in.

Smoothing software in the TV tries to predict what the image would look like between two frames. So if a golf ball is on one side of the screen in one frame, and then on the other in the next, the Smoothing software tries to create a new frame with the ball in the middle. Smoothing tends to make film look more like video. It is very visible when the camera pans slowly across a scene. It also makes computer-animated movies look hyper-real.

Smoothing tends to only be available on higher end TVs. Sony and Samsung (the top two LCD TV manufacturers) each had TVs with the feature that I was looking at but they were about $2400. If I had better impulse control, I'd wait until September or January, which are the best times to buy TVs. But I walked into a Walmart last week. Right in the middle of a bank of TVs I saw the beautiful glassy image of a TV with Smoothing enabled. They were showing Avatar and even though I don't really like that movie, I stood there for 20 minutes, totally ignoring the three phone calls Karen made to my cell phone. (I swear, honey, I did not hear my phone ringing.) I couldn't believe the incredible smooth image on a 47" TV that was only $1000. I did a little bit of research on the brand (no-name Vizio) to make sure it wasn't a total dog, and then picked it up on the weekend.

It was the wife and my 11th anniversary, so it is really a gift to us. Your welcome, Karen.

Monkey & who?

Take a look at the picture to your left. You just got 10% dumber.

This calendar, whimsically named "Monkey & Me" has one problem. There is not a damn monkey to be seen. The animals on the cover are CHIMPANZEES. Let's list the differences between monkeys and chimps.

Monkeys have tails.
Chimps have human-like ears.
Monkeys throw feces.
Chimps can use tools.

It is really difficult to mix them up. Chimps sometimes EAT monkeys! Come on!

For the longest time, I thought that bears and gorillas were related. Not first cousins or anything, but when you put them on the animal tree, they were close. People like my wife have teased me about this. I had no idea where I got this stupid idea until I was watching an old episode of The Little Rascals. In it, they capture a "bear" in the woods, and the "bear" is being played by a guy in a gorilla suit. They say "bear", I see gorilla, and I'm 1% mentally handicapped for 20 years. This is serious business. Calendars like the one above can cause real mental harm.

Gay Marriage and Abortion

These are very serious and controversial issues. I will not talk about them at all. Instead, I'll talk about some other issues which concern me.

Usury

In Canada, it is illegal to charge more than 60% yearly in interest. But every day, thousands of Canadians are charged much higher rates at payday loan companies like Money Mart and Cash Money. The maximum amount these companies can charge in interest and "fees" is 0.13% per day. For example, if you borrow $1000 you can only be charged $1.28 per day! These stores get around the law by adding fees to the transaction, in addition to the interest rate, which can drive the actual annual interest rate up into the thousands of percent.

Payday loan companies pray on the poor and those who may not understand how punishing compound interest is. They must be regulated nationally.

Statistics and Surveys

There is a subject I think requires more explanation in school. That is Statistics.

Almost every day, we are exposed to some survey in the media. But we should not treat them as all the same. Surveys are only valid if 1) they are random, 2) enough people participate, 3) the questions are good.

First, many surveys aren't truly random. Telephone surveys can be slightly biased because they only survey people who own phones, have their number in a phone book, and (more importantly) agree to participate in the survey. Internet surveys are terrible because only people who are truly passionate tend to respond.

Second, the more people who participate, the more accurate the survey. But keep in mind the actual population size. 100 people surveyed may be fine to know the opinion of Kia drivers but not to know the opinion of all Canadians.

Third, the questions need to be clear, not-loaded, and unbiased. For example, "Should it be illegal to beat your child?" will give different results than "Do you think the government should be able to tell you how to discipline your child?". This is why it is important to look at the source of the survey if the results look wonky.

Finally, what do those margin of error statements mean (e.g., plus or minus 5 percentage points, 19 out of 20 times)? The first number is accuracy and the second is repeatability. Accuracy is how close the survey is to the actual opinion of the population being surveyed. Repeatability means if they did the survey again, how likely are they to get that same accuracy. Luckily, the repeatability on most surveys is 95% (19 out of 20 times) so looking at the percentage accuracy is a good judge of the survey.

Surveys are just one part of statistics. Many people confuse correlation and causation (e.g., most prisoners are smokers, but that doesn't mean most smokers are criminals) and put far too much weight on anecdotal evidence (e.g., violent crime has steadily decreased since the 70's, but people still yearn for the "good ol' days").

Okay, there I'm done. Oh right, I hate ads before movies. Yeah. Okay, now I'm done.

Goodbye Noughties

It is 2010, and I thought it would be fun to look back at what blighted the Noughties.

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The highest grossing movie of all time, Transformers II, is practically unwatchable due to what I like to call, "Visual Tourettes". This decade saw one of the worst gimicks in movies catch on: the shaky cam.

Shaky cam has been used sparingly in the past for two reasons:
1. To give a amateur documentary feel (e.g., Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield). Note the "amateur". No good documentarian would have that much trouble holding the camera steady. Its not like the camera is balanced on their head.
2. To shoot fight scenes in movies where the director was too lazy to actually train his actors. Shaking the camera hides the fact that punches are landing 3 feet from the other guys face. A perfect example is Bourne Identity vs. Bourne Ultimatum and Bourne Supremacy. The former has good fight scenes where you know what is going on. The latter would be better viewed while riding the Tilt-a-Whirl.

Two ridiculous things that must be mentioned:
A) Shaky cam in CG shots. The robots fighting in Transformers look like a bike and a garbage can rolling down a hill.
B) Shaky cam in scenes when nothing is happening. The hero may be faxing a letter and for no apparent reason, the camera is bobbing and weaving like a drunk got ahold of it.
C) Shaky cam to simulate POV shots of people running. Next time you go for a run, see if everything looks shaky. People's eyes naturally focus on a point, and will adjust as you run. Things might look shaky if you're running down the street with your hair on fire.

I hope this "technique" dies off because many many good movies have been destroyed due to these ADD cameramen.

SHOES

Three shoe styles have come out this decade which need to be called out.

Uggs - Never has a shoe had a more appropriate name. To be fair, these shoes don't look terrible when new. After a while, these things slouch and begin to look like kid's nasty winter boots. And women will wear this things with tucked in sweat pants, rolled up jeans, or with mini-skirts. I know, I know, they are comfortable, but you look like you robbed a hobo.

Crocs - Better living through chemistry! Crocs, plastic bags, and water bottles are not biodegradable. They also share something else in common: they shouldn't be worn on your feet.

Fitness Shoes (eg., MBT anti-shoe, Sketchers Shape-ups) - These shoes are so mind-bogglingly ugly that I thought I'd make them the symbol of the year. These are like wearing a pair of rocking chairs on your feet. I had some weird shoes growing up (Reebok Pumps that actually pumped up, shoes with springs in them to make you jump higher) but the only fitness you'll get wearing these Frankenstein shoes is running away from people with pitchforks chasing you.


Okay, that's it. Those are my two nitpicks for an otherwise good decade. Of course, if you wear or like any of the things I talked about, I wasn't talking about you.

Carbon, not just for pencils!

Our company is looking into Carbon Capture and Storage (CCS) technology as an area to get involved it.

CCS can be summarized as so:
1. Carbon Dioxide (CO2) is produced mainly from coal-fired electricity plants, but also from other processes in the Oil and Gas industry. It is also produced by most animals when they breathe and by vehicles during combustion.
2. The CO2 is transported at high pressure to suitable areas to be stored.
3. CO2 is injected into the ground, either into oil/gas reservoirs or into deep aquifers.

There are some large challenges that CCS must overcome before becoming viable. CO2, when mixed with water, becomes carbonic acid which can destroy steel pipelines in months. Because of this, the CO2 is typically “scrubbed” of any water and transported at a very high pressure so it becomes a liquid.

Storage of CO2 is a challenge. If it is just pumped underground into a cavern it can leak out so it is typically injected into a deep underground river (called an aquifer). As discussed above, this will make the water undrinkable, so aquifers of already poor quality are used. However, CO2 can be injected into old oil wells as a way to revive them (called Enhanced Oil Recovery or EOR). This is really great because not only does it allow more oil to be recovered, but it traps the CO2 underground.

The future of CCS is a bit fuzzy. After Al Gore’s movie, a lot of people became aware of CO2 and climate change. So there is definitely a political push to do something with the CO2 created. However, I’m not sure that when the bill comes in, people will want to pay. Capturing CO2 from a power plant will raise the price of power; maybe not a lot, but some. Capturing CO2 will require building thousands of kilometers of new pipeline. Storing it will create some environmental risk.

The reality is most electricity is created by burning fossil fuels (e.g., coal, oil, gas). Renewables (e.g., solar, biofuel, wind, tidal) will be very difficult to scale up. Even then they will never cover the energy our planet currently uses. The only real scalable alternative is nuclear power, which has an image problem. Nuclear power has no emission, but does create spent fuel rods which are radioactive for thousands of years. To me, it is the same as if you took all the widely dispersed pollution created by a coal-fired power plant and just concentrated it into one rod. One really really dirty rod. That you don't want to touch. Or hide under someone's pillow, even as a joke. (I'm looking at you, Pickles.)

Our company is committed, so we will be entering an exciting few years while we enter this relatively new area. (At least for North America; Europe has be doing CCS for a decade or so now.)

Kitchen Reno - Part 8 - The End

So the wife and I are all pumped up and ready to tackle painting and tiling the kitchen (the final jobs). We go out on Thursday (Sept. 3) and buy all the latest new-fangled painting supplies and the most expensive paint we can (the colour is Celestial). We go home and we mask off the whole kitchen, lay down plastic to protect the floor and counters, and prep the walls.

I just have to say, my wife is a superstar. She painted the whole kitchen and it looks incredible. She painted our bathroom and our front room. Me, after I helped prep the kitchen (how did I get masking tape in my hair?!), I thought to myself: “I cannot imagine trying to put the backsplash tiles up.” While Karen was at home painting (Friday) I was frantically canvasing my office for anyone who knows a tiler. A co-worked recommended the best contractor of the whole job. I gave Uwe, who owns Condor Ceramic Floor Tile with his wife, a call and he said he might have time next week to fit me in.

Of course, there is still one last job which needs to be done, and apparently it is one of the “blue” jobs which only men can do: baseboards. Saturday (Sept. 5) is baseboard day. Did you know baseboards are very long? Too long to fit in a car? While the wife went out for coffee with her friends, I was carrying four 14’ long baseboards home (luckily, the Home Depot is right by our house). Of course, they were the wrong size (too thin). The wife comes home with the car (she got a friend to drop her off at the Home Depot) to pick me up. Apparently being an engineer has its disadvantages. You see, I think 14’ long baseboard + 8’ long car = walking home. The wife thinks 14’ long baseboards + 8’ long car = just let the rest hang out the back, you idiot, it is only 8 blocks away!

Another PSA: did you know corners are not exactly 90 degrees? So the $3 Walmart plastic miter box I had did not really work as advertised. I guess that’s what I get for being a cheap basterd.

Aside: I had a friend, Craig Hagan, who lived with Peter Scott in a house by the train tracks for years in Grande Prairie. We had a few parties there, and somehow, a hole appeared in their ceiling. When it came time to move, Craig used newspaper and toothpaste to try and “patch” the hole. It didn’t work. When two baseboards don’t come together because the $3 miter box is junk, well … let’s just say the wife and I had to take a page out of Craig Hagan’s book.

Flash to the end of the week. Uwe and his lovely wife come to the house Thursday at 9am. They prep the wall, install the tile, and come back the next day to grout. They play with the dogs. Children are laughing, birds are chirping, and in the distance a pan flute plays. The wife hands Uwe a check (less that he quoted!) and the reno is finally done. We are $9,000 poorer but thankful we have a room we can enjoy.

Kitchen Reno - Part 7 - S'ickles

So the reno is done. But I’ll recap, starting last week, on Wednesday.

The cabinets are in, but the kitchen is still a mess. Our electrician (from Amigo Electrical Services) comes out and deals with the wires sticking out (after removed the light above the sink), plus we get him to change all our outlets from sickly yellow to bright white.

Things took a turn for the worse today. I was a work, after having taken Monday and Tuesday off. The wife phones me and says our youngest dog, Pickles, is sick. He is lethargic and puking blood. The plumber (Clearview) is late. This is ironic since they a big sign on their red trucks which says, “On time or we pay you!” Do not use these jerks. You can see their red truck here: http://www.calgary-plumbing.com/about_us.html

Anyway, I have to come home so Karen can take Pickles to the vet and I can “supervise” the plumber (again, supervise means play video games). This guys is so out-of-shape that he sounds like he is passing a kidney stone as he installs the new plumbing. I’ve never heard so much grunting and groaning and sighing from a tradesman. Dude, do you want some help? Maybe a pillow so you can take a nap and work up some strength?

Oh, and not only was the “plumber” late, but he came in and said we didn’t have the right drain piece. Um, I’m pretty sure Ikea knows what the hell they are doing when they supply a drain with their sink. But apparently the drain they provide is not the right “kind” so he goes out and buys another one (which looks identical to me, but who knows cause I don’t have my degree in plumbology).

In the end, the dishwasher and sink work, so I pay to (way too much) price of $800. By far, the most expensive trademen on this job have been plumbers. Karen comes home and his happy about the dishwasher, but not happy that Pickles has to spend the night at the doggie hospital for observation (spoiler: he is okay now).

Thursday begins with another flaky contractor. Our tile and paint guy comes to the house (late) and freaks out when he sees the glass tiles we chose for the back splash. He warned us against getting glass tile because the paper backing can peel off and it looks bad. This was what he told us. So we specifically chose tile that did NOT have a paper back. But apparently glass tile is really hard to work with. So why didn’t you say that, moron? The wife was like, “Fine, we can pay more, but in anycase, you are here to prep the room for PAINTING, right, like we talked about?” So this idiot, who apparently can’t remember what he told us a few days earlier, mumbles something about needing to go get supplies and storms out.

Karen calls me and we decide to fire him. She phones him and leaves a message saying we’re going with someone else. A few hours later, the Ikea bowl we gave him (to colour match for the paint) appears on our front step.

Of course, now we have to find a couple of lackeys to paint our kitchen. And those couple of lackeys are us. I’ll say this: thank God I know how to do engineering because if I had to do any sort of trade we’d be living in a van down by the river.